Positive reinforcement is not enough to motivate a person to stop using drugs
You’re a good parent, a loving spouse, a decent boss, a fair judge, a caring therapist. You took psychology in college. You learned that positive reinforcement is more effective than negative reinforcement. Honey catches more flies than vinegar. But, you don’t know drugs, or, if you do, you haven’t thought it out.
Your praise, your rewards, your love, your kindness, your convincing rationale, your unconditional positive regard, is never, ever going to be enough. You’re competing with crack cocaine, with crystal meth, with heroin, with a good buzz. Do you know what you’re up against? Do you think gold stars are better than that?
The only thing that can challenge the reinforcement that drugs provide is pain.
Drug provide plenty of pain. First, there’s the withdrawal. Then, there’s the consequences of having poor judgment when they’re intoxicated. There’s money problems, work problems, legal problems, and health problems that all arise from substance use. Use long enough and there will be plenty of problems. There will be plenty of pain.
You can still praise and reward when there is something to praise and reward. You can be loving, kind, rational, and caring. You don’t have to provide the pain. The drugs and their consequences will provide plenty of pain. You just have to get out of the way. Stop covering for them. Stop taking the pain yourself.