- Set a timer for five minutes.
- Lie down with your partner, clothes on, side by side, facing each other.
- Put your heads on pillows. If your partner has one eye, you’re too close.
- Don’t speak, stroke, or grope. Try not to make funny faces.
- Look into your partner’s eyes and try to see all the way into his or her soul. That’s right, the soul.
- Continue until the time is up.
- Then do whatever you want.
Some people find this exercise uncomfortably intimate. You really become aware of yourself, your partner, and the connection, or lack of it, you have. It’s like Pilates for relationships. It isolates the alliance you have with your partner, better than sex does. In sex, you can always focus on yourself or sensations. Like Hugging until Relaxed, it’ll bring all your issues to the surface where you can work on them.